Yes, I Can.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” – Phillipians 4:13

When I was a little girl, I loved the stage. I loved anything that allowed me to be in front of everybody. I also had the worst stage fright (I still do) and there would be times when I would go up on the stage and freeze, too scared to let anything come out. What’s interesting enough about this though, is that no matter how scared I was, how many butterflies were in my stomach, I never stopped going. Every time I had the opportunity to stand in front of a group of people and sing, dance, recite poetry or a scripture, star in a play, I went; even when there were times I just stood there.

I like to think that my childhood confidence was powered by the scripture I quoted above. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” As a child it was easy to believe this, because it matched everything I was hearing around me. Go to school, learn, so you can grow up and be whatever you want to be. You can do anything you put your mind to. Believe in yourself, as I believe in you. Yes, that last one comes from a song from the Wiz, but I was hearing it as a child and I BELIEVED it. I literally believed there was nothing I couldn’t do.

Confidence looks different for me now because I’ve met and become familiar with her friend Embarrassment. You know, that feeling of heat that covers your entire body while butterflies dance in your stomach and the color drains from your face? Self-consciousness. Shame. Awkwardness. A lot of the time you hear people say the reason they don’t want to do something is they don’t want to fail, or be judged wrongly, or even not wanting to take a chance from someone who is more qualified or better fit, but those aren’t really the root feeling. Embarrassment is often the emotion that keeps us from pursuing things that might change the way people look at us.

It’s definitely what has held me back from taking chances. The way I am represented in the world to strangers, colleagues, family and friends alike is very important to me. It is important that they know I am doing my best and being my best self. I care what people think about me, and I know I’m not alone. Let’s face it, no matter who says they don’t care what anybody thinks about them, they’re most likely lying. Even if you don’t care what everybody thinks about you, most people cares what SOMEBODY thinks about them. We all have people we hold in the highest regard, and we care what they think of us and how they view us. And we will do anything to protect that view. Even stop ourselves short of trying. Even though we have the skillset, the talent, the knowledge, the wherewithal, we don’t want someone better to come along and show us up in front of everyone. We don’t want to give them the chance to make a fool out of us. So instead of knowing and acting on what we CAN do, we lecture ourselves about why we can’t. But how did we get here? How did we get to a place where what somebody else thinks of us matters more than what we think of ourselves? Who said Embarrassment was the boss of Confidence?

It’s not. When I think back on that little girl who didn’t know how to give up, Embarrassment wasn’t something that mattered because I KNEW that I could do ANYTHING. My teacher said I could. My mom said I could. And God said I could. And to make it even better, he had Paul write it down so I could read it whenever I forget. Whenever Embarrassment, Anxiety or Fear came to put Confidence in time out, the powerful affirmation of “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” rings in my ears and tells me all those feelings are lying and when they say “No, you can’t,” I say YES, I CAN. Nobody puts Confidence in the corner. And like that little girl who went on any stage with any of her talents, butterflies and all, and faced the fear of Embarrassment, Adult Confidence knows what I’m capable of and I force the world to see.

When you know you’re good at something and you allow yourself to be good at it, and exercise in it, the people who’s opinions matter most to you will reflect that talent. They will be proud, not just of what you can do but of your Confidence to go out and do it. And when it seems nobody else believes in you, Philippians 4:13 says there’s a being greater than them all who is giving you the strength to do ALL THINGS. You just have to let Confidence make the way.