Thicker Than Water

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13

Blood is thicker than water. How many times have we heard this phrase, which is meant to remind us that the bond of family is stronger than the bond of friendship. Now I have been blessed in my family bonds, and they are people I am more than grateful to have in my life, but there are many people out there in the world who are not as fortunate as I. I have seen and heard countless stories of broken family bonds, caused by many things. Hurt, Betrayal, Greed, Lust, Abuse… these are just a few. Some are broken temporarily, others suffer more permanent damage. No matter the reason, having a rift in a family bond can make the premise that blood relations are better than chosen relations a hard concept to swallow.

With family, there are no choices involved with who we share a blood bond with, we’re just in it. Our parents choose each other and thus we end up with two sides of relatives that we may or may not connect with on an emotional level, and guess what? We are “stuck” with them. Your brother will always be your brother, even though he intentionally takes longer in the bathroom in the morning so you will be late. Your aunt will always be your aunt, no matter how many hurtful things she says about your weight. Your father is your father, whether he’s someone you can talk to or not. So, what then? If you don’t have family that you can rely on or connect to, does that mean you are alone in this world? That you cannot have true meaningful relationships outside of family? Does it mean that you are damaged goods, unworthy of love if your own family cannot show it to you? Absolutely not. When the families we are born into let us down, God gave us a special gift: the families we choose, the families of friendship.

I am so incredibly blessed with my friends. In fact, I would be lost without them. They are the brothers who hold me down when I’m losing it. The big sisters who stop everything to answer my call when I’m in distress. The extra family members who don’t let me feel as though blood is needed for them to love me. And I am so grateful for that. My closest circle of friends… I honestly don’t have words to describe the bond I have with them. They are my tribe. My village. The women who know and understand and respect my views on life, and love me anyway. The ones I have the most in common with, liking the things I like and wanting to have experiences with me around those shared interests. The ones who can be my references on job applications that specify “no family.” The ones who support my businesses by always sending me clientele and using my services for themselves. The ones who cheer loud and proud when I’m a happy success, and cry rivers of tears when I’m hurting. They are the ones I would honestly lay my life down for, the greatest love I have.

That’s right. The greatest love I have. The bible says that there is no greater love to have than to be willing to lay down your life for your friends. Not your family or your spouse, but your friends. Kind of gives the blood being thicker than water thing a run for its money, right? If God meant for friendships not to be an important relationship, why would He allow for reference to them in His word? Why allow us to form those kinds of bonds at all? Because God knows how important choices are for us. There are two things that God gave us: the need/desire for companionship, and free will. He designed for us to want to commune and fellowship with other people, and the choice of who we do that with. In His perfect plan He knew that we would experience Hurt, Betrayal, Greed, Lust, and Abuse at the hands of the people we don’t choose and gave us an avenue to be able to choose new people to experience Joy, Excitement, Success, Laughter and Love with. I’ll take it a step further and point out that we actually choose when we’re friends with family. “She’s not just my mother, she’s my friend,” “my sister is my best friend,” “cousins are our first friends.” Even without realizing it, we categorize friendship on a pedestal of honor; as we should.

If when you think about how great your life is because of your friendships, think now on how awesome their lives are because of you. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Knowing that the love you have and share with them helps brighten their day, makes them smile, holds them up? Knowing that if they just needed that from blood, they wouldn’t keep you around. If you know that, and how important it is to be on the receiving end of that, be a good friend! Give back what is given or what you want to be given, and guard that special love by being your best at it. And remember, Jesus calls us his friends, and he gave that greatest love for us as well. If your goal is to be Christ-like, then being a good friend is definitely part of that.

I am so grateful for the love of friendship. It is so sweet and genuine, when it’s real, and nothing is more pure. When I see small children holding hands running and playing with friends, and then being completely devastated when that friendship is temporarily taken away with the simple words of “I’m not your friend anymore.” From even those early days of life we know we want friends, and knowing that, I dare not give them their place of honor as I move through life. Be grateful for your friends. Love them, honor them, cherish them. Let them know they are valued. And in doing that, be enriched by how fulfilled your life is with their presence. Blood may be thicker than water, but the love of friendship know no bounds.