Perfect Love

“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

Valentine’s Day: a showcase of all the love being shared by couples around the world. It can be such a happy time if you receive baked goods, candy, flowers, teddy bears, jewelry or other special trinkets from loved ones. Fancy dinner dates, exotic getaways, special times to spend with the special people in your life. That is, if you’re not single. Valentine’s day has become the bane of many a single person’s existence, because it serves as a glaring reminder of what they don’t have. For some it can be reminiscent of love lost due to breakups, divorce, or death. For others it could become an opportunity to obsess over what they hope to have one day. I’ve even seen it come to be known as Single Awareness Day and Obligatory Love Day. Either way, Valentine’s Day and its commercialized attempt to define how we recognize love is definitely rubbing more than a few folks the wrong way.

Why is that? Why do we get upset about the idea of love being commercialized? Well for one, it shouldn’t be. But we know how that goes. If there’s an opportunity to make money, money will be made. It’s the way of the world. But besides that, if we stop and take a look at our truest emotions about the subject there’s one that often rears its green ugly head. Yup, you guessed it. Jealousy. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are jealous of what other people have when it comes to Love. And why exactly are we jealous? Because we all deserve to have, experience and know Love. When it comes to things we know we should have, it makes it harder when we feel like we don’t.

So what do we do? Living a life of jealousy is not fun. Who wants to sit around unable to watch certain movies or shows because they make you feel icky inside? Or not really be happy for your friends who are progressing through their relationships at what looks like lightning speed while we sit in limbo? How do we avoid becoming the Grinch who stole Valentine’s Day or any other simalence of Joy that comes when others are experiencing a love we just aren’t? How do we escape the jaws of misery when all we want is to be happy? There is hope, I promise. But it’s the kind of hope that you really have to buy into, or it just won’t work.

Step one: change your mindset. Earlier this month I talked about what love is (if you didn’t get the chance, take a look at Love Is… published Feb. 2nd) and I’ve discovered that Love is so many things that it can’t be easily defined. That means we get to make our own definition of what love looks like for us and it’s place in our lives. Yes, the world has commercialized WHEN Love is, but they are failing terribly at defining WHAT love is. The universal thing that we keep seeing across cultures, borders, and timelines is that WE define love for OURSELVES. So decide for yourself what Love is and let that drive how you show, express, and experience it.

Step two: recognize it. Once you’ve changed your mindset about what love is and have defined it for yourself, open your eyes and SEE IT. It’s all around you, coming from family, friends, even strangers at times. And when people fail you (because that’s what we do) remember that God’s love is infinite and he NEVER takes it away from us. The scripture says that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.” Do you know how powerful that is? To know that even when the world is crumbling all around you and you feel at your most alone and your worst, that none of those disasters can keep God’s love from you? Recognize that, and it will envelop you in a way that no Love ever has before.

And finally, step three: Embrace it. Now that you know what Love is, and you recognize where it is in your life, open your arms and your heart and let Love in. I’m reminded of the Grinch, since I referenced him briefly before. When you think about the Grinch, he felt alone and unloved. A lot of that was by his own design, but when he found himself alone and unloved he wanted misery for all those around him. He spewed hatred towards the Who’s and the thing they loved most: Christmas. It wasn’t until he was able to recognize what Love truly is and opened his tiny heart to it that it grew (5 times that day) substantially and took over his very existence. He embraced Love and in return, Love embraced him back. Now I say all that to show that we are also capable of this. Jealousy does not have to rule over Love if we stop comparing and contrasting, and start recognizing and embracing the Love we do have. And once we do that we come to find that even though the ones we Love, and the way we Love won’t ever be perfect, but we can absolutely experience perfect love.

Perfect Love pushes out Jealousy, and is not capable of Misery. The reason for that? Love is such a pure and overwhelming emotion that there just isn’t room for anything else when it’s present. So change your mindset, recognize it, embrace it and just experience perfect Love. There’s no better feeling.