But, Grace

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

Father’s Day. A day that causes so much controversy in today’s society. There’s always talk of the “dead beat dad” the “absent father” the “sperm donor.” All of these exist and have their own crosses to bear when it comes to the relationship, or lack thereof, in their children’s lives. But today I want to talk to the good father. The one who tries, and sometimes to his avail, isn’t always as successful as he wants to be. He’s no different than anyone else who makes a goal in life, and the Guilt he feels when he fails to achieve that goal cuts deep.

Everyone wants something out of life, but one thing I’ve seen that’s consistent across many boards is a desire to make someone proud. Sometimes that person is yourself, but a lot of times its someone who played a pivotal role in your life. What do I mean by that? Success is often paired with the approval of others. But what happens when you don’t reach those successes? What happens when you fall off track, get distracted, and somehow find yourself farther from the goal instead of closer? Is that when Guilt starts to come in? Is that when you feel ashamed of not making it happen “when” it was supposed to happen and then you take longer to pull yourself up? That is a normal part of life. The bible tells us we all fall short of His glory, and that doesn’t stop us from making our way back to the right path. WE are what stops us from making it back to the right path. And why do we do that? Because of fear.

Fear makes us think about the Guilt we felt when we let someone else down and we don’t want to do that again so instead of trying harder, we stop. Because you can’t mess something up if you’re not doing anything at all, right? I wouldn’t be too sure about that. You’re messing up yourself. And you’re wasting your grace. “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 God ALWAYS has grace for us when we fall short. He’s rooting for us to succeed! He wants us to do well, and he’s trying to let us figure it out, all while being there with the right answer when we’re ready for it. I can only imagine how much hurt He feels when we don’t do well. He’s even given us some earthly figures to exude what that love feels like.

I want you, my readers, to think about the positive father figures in your life. Maybe its your daddy. Maybe it’s a stepdad who stepped in. Maybe it’s an uncle, an older brother, or a grandfather who was always there. Maybe it was a church leader, a neighbor, or an educator. No matter who he is to you, see his face, and think about everything you were to him. Now think about a time you messed up, and imagine that he felt like he messed up, too. Like he failed you, didn’t give you what you needed, didn’t provide the support that you wanted. Didn’t have the “right” answer for your situation. But it never stopped him from loving you, or from being there. He was always there to pick up the pieces when you were ready. God does that for us, too. That’s what grace is. It’s that love and forgiveness that’s always there, even when we don’t deserve it. Grace is comfort for our Guilt.

So how do we access this grace? It’s simple, really. Forgive yourself first. We are our own worst critics and the last person to give us room to correct our errors. If you forgive yourself first, you then can realize how many others can forgive you, and that God forgives you as well. Once you’ve forgiven yourself, you can move. And then, after you’ve accessed it, continue to pay it forward. Don’t hold on to grudges and spite, forgive others and grant them grace so they can move forward as well. Let people know that you understand that it’s not their fault, or that they didn’t mean it, or that everyone makes mistakes, so they can be better and you can be better with them. Receive grace, and give grace. It provides a special kind of harmony for living life.

So, I am wishing a Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and father figures who have been granting us grace as we stumble our way through life. And I’m offering grace to the ones who have fallen by the wayside. May you see the error of your ways and find a way to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness. And I hope that you, my readers, who have a little grace to give, may you give it in the best and most healing way.