Recognizing Wrongs

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8-9

I am a stubborn woman. I don’t see it as a bad thing, but sometimes it has its bad moments. Sometimes I struggle with letting things go, admitting defeat or with the way I respond during an argument. Sometimes, I’m just down right mean. Yup, I said it. Sometimes when I’m hurting I say things that I know are hurtful in an attempt to make the other person feel what I feel and hopefully stop hurting me in the process. These moments are never my best or brightest. I know I can’t be the only one who does things they know are wrong. I know that everyone has a flaw (or many flaws) that come out when under stress or pressure. After all, no one’s perfect. I also know that if you’re anything like me, you probably regret how you handle situations sometimes.

If I’m arguing with someone I love, and I say something that hurt them, I regret it. Not because I didn’t mean to get my point across, but because I never wanted someone I love to feel pain at my causing. And until I address it, Guilt eats away at me. What about you? What happens to you when you’ve done something you think was wrong and you don’t do anything to fix it? Do you find yourself losing sleep? Are you more anxious in similar situations? Do you avoid dealing with people or places because of the act committed against them? Allow me to inform you: you’re feeling Guilty, too. So how do we deal with this Guilt that’s so all consuming?

Well, the first step is recognizing your wrongs. No, it’s not fun, but one of the biggest mistakes that people can make is acting like they don’t make any mistakes! When we put ourselves on a pedestal of perfection it makes it harder to live with ourselves, and each other. Let’s face it, nobody wants to deal with someone who is above all error. If you’re above error, what does that say about me? It means that when things go wrong, I’m the one who’s always making the mistake, and taking the blame, and that’s not fair at all. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. Even the bible tells us this: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8) Faking perfect isn’t the way.

The second step is repenting. When you repent, you recognize what you did, apologize for it, and then try not to do it again. Nothing comes from an apology if it’s followed by a repeat offense. And worse than that, is if you’re still causing the error while saying you’re sorry for it. You can’t apologize for standing on my foot and not move yours. It’s empty, it’s means nothing, and trust cannot be regained. Ah, trust. Trust is a key component of grace. I can offer you grace because I trust you won’t misuse it. If I can’t trust you to at least TRY not to cause offense, then my grace is wasted and would be better given to someone who appreciates it more.

So I hope you can do like I have, and recognize your wrongs and work on them. I have gotten better about apologizing, counting to ten, explaining myself better, and I hope that I hurt less feelings than I used to. If not, and you know me, please point it out so I can continue to recognize and repent. And remember, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about being better. Being better means living with less Guilt. That’s something I know will make each day a little easier.