Time To Heal

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” – Matthews 5:44

Do you have an enemy? Someone who wishes you ill? For reasons unbeknownst to you, or maybe reasons you’re very familiar with, this person just can’t wrap their mind around good things happening to you. Even if you do, maybe you’re one of those people who could care less about people not liking you and you press forward without giving them so much as a second thought. Maybe you’re one of those people who have a harder time dealing with a friend turned enemy. Someone who you used to hold near and dear and somehow, someway the relationship sullied and now you can no longer be in the same space as them without a sour taste returning to your mouth. No matter how your enemies came to be, the common denominator is the Hurt the have either previously or continuously cause you.

How do move forward from that? And more importantly, how do you heal? How do you move Hurt to a place of rest and peacefully power on through your life? The Bible commands it: “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” (Matthews 5:44). Jesus even gives us the why, as the next scriptures go on to say that God will take care of our enemies and that He loves and forgives us when we make mistakes. And as contrite as that is, it doesn’t make the how any easier. Hopefully I can help in that department with a little perspective.

I’ve discussed in my earlier writings that Hurt people Hurt people. And when we remember the Hurt we cause when we aren’t at our best, maybe we can extend that grace to those who are Hurting us. We don’t know what is going on with the other person. Even if they explain it, if you aren’t them or haven’t gone through what they’ve been through, their why may not ever make sense to you. Their apology might even fall on deaf ears because you don’t think they should have done what they did in the first place. What’s done is done. The Hurt has been caused, they can’t take it back. And you have every right to not want to deal with that type of Hurt in your life anymore. Just make sure you’re not harboring the Hurt as an excuse not to move past it. Sometimes our enemies are created out of pure acts of evil. But then there are the times when we make enemies out of misunderstanding. And the times we make them out of our own guilt.

Our own guilt? Where did that come from? How can we turn someone into our enemy, when they did us wrong? When they were the one who attacked? How can we be guilty in that instance? Well, think about why you’re so Hurt. Are you Hurt because you were an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire? Or are you Hurt because in addition to the sting of pain they caused, there was an extra sting from knowing you may have deserved some of it? Ouch. That one even Hurt me. Sometimes we push people away because we don’t like the package they delivered an already Hurtful truth in. It’s not just that we don’t like being made to look ugly and mean by them… sometimes the mirror they’re holding up and forcing on us is causing us to see part of who we really are.

I’ve experienced that before. And it never feels good. Some times some of my enemies are who they are to me because of how I treated them. And it’s in those moments that I HAVE to forgive them. Because I have to own my part in it. I have to own that I messed up and brought this upon myself. If you can own your part and forgive your enemies for theirs, it makes walking through life that much easier. It means that maybe one day they will see that you’ve not only forgiven them for their Hurt but owned your own, and now you can both heal. When you own the hurt you have and the hurt you cause, healing is the next step.

So the next time you’re faced with your enemy, stop and think about what you could have done to get here. If you have faults, own them and move forward with a willingness to change that Hurt causing behavior. If you’re not at fault, keep loving your enemy until they can come to the same realization. But the fact of the matter is that continuing to hurt is not the option any of us should be choosing. Heal from your Hurts, and enjoy the blessings that can bring.