The Living Loss

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them all by name. How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension.” Psalms 147:3-5

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Grief and Loss? If you said death, then you’re not alone. Most people think about death as the main reason someone would be in a Grief stricken state. But let me ask you this. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about death? The loss of a loved one? The passing of a pet? A living, breathing being’s life coming to an end. You’re also like most people if that’s what you think. But what if I were to tell you there is more to death than just people or animals dying. In our lives many things come to an end and can have a tumultuous impact on us, and what do we do when components of that ending are staring us in the face?

The living loss. What is it? This is when you carry Grief due to a range of life experiences and the situations, or loved ones, are still alive. What does that mean? Divorce from the person you thought you would love forever. Estrangement from a family member who’s been in your life your entire life. Termination from a job you worked for 20 plus years. Disbanding of a group you thought could never fall apart. Ending a friendship that has been a large part of your everyday life. Losing a dream due to circumstances beyond your control. All of these things can happen in your life at any time. And when they do, the pain that can be experienced as a result can cause an immense amount of Grief.

Why am I bringing this up? Because too often we only give ourselves time to Grieve when someone dies, because that’s the only thing we think deserves a mourning period. People don’t always associate mourning with the living so they don’t understand when you need the same kind of grace to get past it that you would if someone you loved had died. And because other people don’t understand, we push those feelings down and either don’t address them or deal with them in unhealthy ways. We tell ourselves that we can’t be upset or sad about something like this happening to us because we’re supposed to get back up and keep pushing. Or worse, we decide that God doesn’t want us to. We let mantras like “let go and let God” take the only seat and we suppress real emotions thinking God doesn’t want us to feel them or that we don’t trust Him to be in control because we’re sad. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

The bible says that “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them all by name. How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension.” (Psalms 147:3-5) The brokenhearted. That’s a word I’m sure you’ve heard before to describe the feelings associated with the experiences I mentioned before. This word is defined as overwhelmed by Grief or disappointment, and God can and does heal those who experience it. He cares about us so much, and His power is absolute, and the best part? He UNDERSTANDS! Living loss is bearable because even when nobody else knows or gets how you feel, even when we don’t understand why we feel what we feel, God does. And He wants us to know it’s ok and He’s got us.

So, the next time you’re faced with that experience that completely devistates you, and you’re too brokenhearted to function as normal at that time, remember that being brokenhearted is just a result of a living loss… and God understands.