Lingering

“My heart may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” Psalms 73: 26

I want you to think about your most painful loss. It’s probably not very hard to do. It lingers in the back of your mind, always ready to sting you and remind you of a time when you felt low, or lost, or broken. It may bring a tear to your eye even know, as you recall how good things were before you lost it or them. Then you think about the period of losing them, and then the period of immediate absence. Why does this happen? It’s not like you haven’t found a way to get on with your life. You’re not missing work or stalling your education. You’ve moved on. Why is this loss lingering? Why are you still having moments of Grief?

Because as human beings we are emotional creatures, we are prone to experiencing feelings at any given moment. That includes being reminded of the pain of a past loss. In order to not be plagued with that, we would have to lose the memory of it all together, and is that really what we want? When you’re thinking back on that loss is it not associate with positive and negative reminders? Are you not happy in those flashbacks, as well as sad? Would the loss be as great if there had never been some Joy associated with it? That’s the key element, people. Grief lingers because it always comes with a loss of some sort of Happiness and/or Peace.

So, how do we move forward? I’ve got 3 affirmations for you. The first, I’m grieving right now, not always. Give yourself permission to have that moment and don’t look at it as a sign of depression or weakness. Remember, everybody gets sad. Second, It’s ok for me to think about the loss and cherish the memories. Like I stated before, Grief comes because Happiness or Peace was there first. It’s healthy to think about the good things from your past as long as you are not allowing it to be an excuse not to move forward. If you find yourself lingering too long, seek out some help with processing those feelings. Turn to loved ones, spiritual leaders, and of course mental health professionals for support. And finally, God understands. The bible says “My heart may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” (Psalms 73: 26) Simply put, even when you’re feeling the missing peace, God is there to fill it. You’re never without a comforter, turn to Him to fill those impossible voids. He can bring you the right people, the right career, the right job, and the right mindset to face any and every obstacle in this life. Let Him.

If you’re now feeling a bout of Sadness, I apologize for pushing you there. All month long I’ve wrestled with this emotion of Grief and the stages it puts us through. We’ve talked about normalizing Grief, not rushing the Grieving process, and even grieving things that are still living, just not living with us. I’d like to think we’re ok now and can move forward with life after loss. But that doesn’t mean you won’t ever be reminded of what was lost, or that you won’t feel grief over it again. Sometimes Grief lingers, and that’s ok.