Alone and Afraid

“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

The fear of being alone. When you think about things that go bump in the night, the boogie man, or the monsters in the closet, these things need two components to be “powerful”: the dead of night, and the ability to move when no one is watching. The same thing is true for rapists and robbers. When you think about the way the reports of how they come at you it’s often in darkness or other situations where no one else can see. The connecting element of all these fearful situations is catching when there’s no one else to help; catching you when you’re alone.

The fear of being alone. It can manifest at different times in life and for different reasons. We see it often in children, when they experience separation anxiety about being away from the ones they love and trust the most. It can happen after a traumatic event, causing people to be afraid when they don’t feel the protection of presence. Or it can manifest for people who are afraid of something happening to them when they’re alone and no one being able to or caring enough to check on them. Then there are the people who feel emotionally alone, like no one understands their situation or thought process, so they are always clamouring to prove they can stay on top of things so as not to burden anyone else with their woes. No matter how it manifests or when, this fear is a very real thing for many people and can be so difficult to overcome. Think about it. How do you convince someone that they’re never alone, when they feel like they are?

For me, this can be tough at times. I live alone, deal with anxiety, and then I’m also the strong friend who people often forget to check on because I’m so busy checking on them. I have many times when I feel so alone I cry myself to sleep just so that I can hear another voice outside of my head. Those days are hard, but I have affirmations that I use to help pull me through and I am happy to share them with you! Here are my favorite three:

My Family and Friends love me, even when they aren’t saying it. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff, and it can be hard for our loved ones to say how they feel about us everytime we need to hear it. So we have to remind ourselves that they do. Also, it’s not wrong to ask them for what you need. Now that doesn’t mean to demand to hear it 20 times a day, or to tell them that if they aren’t saying it they aren’t feeling it. But people can’t give you what they need if you don’t tell them. So tell your loved ones that sometimes you need reassurance of what you already know, and if they truly love you, they won’t mind saying it from time to time.

I am Enough. As people we often have so much need for positive reinforcement that we forget to give it to ourselves! There’s a reason God has allowed you to be here, in existence today, and it is your right to embrace that existence and walk in it confidently! YOU are a reason to get up every morning. YOU are smart, and talented, and brave. YOU make other people’s lives worthwhile. YOU ARE ENOUGH! And if you remind yourself that you are a valuable piece of society, then you don’t have to feel alone.

He’s always with me. The bible says “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4) God is ALWAYS there, even and especially during our most Fearful times. When your heart is racing and the walls are crashing in, and you can’t hear the positives in anyone else’s voice, reach out for His, and let Him be your comforter. Let Him bring you peace. Let Him do what He promised to do which is never leave your side. When Fear creeps in, let Him show it out. He’s the friend you can always depend on.

So remember, they love you even when they aren’t saying it, You are enough, and God can and always will be there. If you keep these mantras close to heart, the Fear of being alone will be fleeting at best.