The Overcomer

“This is a day to remember. Each year, from generation to generation, you must celebrate it as a special festival to the Lord. This is a law for all time.” Exodus 12:14

Anniversaries. I want you to think about milestones and how you celebrate them on their anniversaries. I know for me there are several. The day I graduated from high school, college and received my Masters degree. The anniversaries of my joining my respective organizations. The day I started my business. The first time I wrote for this blog. My birthday. Romantic relationships. Even in the early phases of a new romantic relationship we may celebrate each little thing that happens: when you meet, the first date, the first kiss, the date you become exclusive and every month after that. Why do we do this? Because there’s something special about looking back over how far you’ve come and thinking about how much farther you can still go.

What if I were to tell you the same is true for conquering Anxiety? That’s right. You can celebrate every time you overcome anxiety just like you do with all your other milestones and accomplishments. Why? Because it’s important not to forget how we overcome our Anxiety, because that will help us to overcome it again when it arises again. This is why I tell myself, my friends with Anxiety and my clients that I conquer it daily. Because as easy as it could be to wake up and choose successful management of our emotions, sometimes it just isn’t. And if we celebrate overcoming it instead of beating ourselves up for having a bad day or going through a rough period, we normalize our experiences and that is what makes it easier to live with ourselves. But how do we do that? If we’ve spent so much time pushing down the memories of our angst, what does it look like to celebrate them? As always, I’ve got a few tips for that!

Tip one: Pay attention to what works. As much as we’d like to think we “just got over it” that’s hardly true. There’s always a series of steps that lead to anything happening, no matter how small or insignificant they might be. Maybe you told yourself “I’m ok” and it worked. Or maybe you remembered a happier moment and the memory took over that Anxious moment. Maybe you counted down from 10 and by the time you got to 2 you were feeling better. These seemingly insignificant actions are all coping mechanisms that your brain tapped into to bring your Anxiety under control. And if you can recall those moments and how they worked, it’s likely they’ll work again in the future. So hold onto them

Tip two: Stop beating yourself up for bad days. Everybody has them. Every story has them. Think again about your anniversaries. I’m sure if you look over a year in your marriage or in your college days there were some days that weren’t perfect. Some tests you didn’t perform as well on. Some arguments you had that seemed really bad. But you didn’t throw your relationship away and you didn’t quit school over those bad experiences. Stop throwing your successful conquering of Anxiety away over a bad day or a bad moment. You’re not “uncured” because you had a panic attack. You didn’t regress because you had a bad side affect to your meds. Just like you fought to keep going in your relationship or in your program, talk to the necessary people to get yourself back on track. Call your therapist, reach out to your doctor, refocus your energy and get back on track. It’s daily conquering, and you are an overcomer.

Tip three (and my last one): Give yourself credit. At the end of the day, when you’re laying in bed preparing to sleep, instead of thinking about everything that went wrong and how you could do it better, replace those reflections on the negative with celebrations of the positive. Think about the fact that you made it through. You overcame another day with anxiety and you should be PROUD of that. No matter how many bad moments there were you survived them all, and tomorrow you get to conquer again. You’ll probably sleep better at night by going to sleep on that high note instead of on a worrisome one.

I leave you with this: When the Israelites were preparing to come out of Egypt they did a lot of daily overcoming. Slavery, the Plagues, mistreatment from the Egyptians. But before they were actually released from their bondage, God gave them instructions for the Passover feast and told them “This is a day to remember. Each year, from generation to generation, you must celebrate it as a special festival to the Lord. This is a law for all time.” (Exodus 12:14) God wants us to remember what we overcome and to celebrate overcoming. He brings us through so many rough patches and it’s important that we realize He’s with us every step of the way and to rejoice and be glad in that. So do that!

Remember to pay attention to what works, stop beating yourself up for bad days and to give yourself credit. If you do that, I’m sure you’ll tap into the Overcomer in you and it will make your daily conquering sweeter. I love you, and I know you can do it!