“For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.” Lamentations 3:31-33
One of the hardest things to hear when experiencing Grief is that it won’t last. We’re constantly reminded that life moves on, happiness returns, and things return back to a semblance of normal. But what about when it doesn’t? What about when you think you’re ready to go back to life as usual and then another blow comes? Or you’re reminded of that missing piece of your heart and it feels like you’ve been knocked back to where you started? How do you deal with the Guilt you feel for not being ready to move on? You want to hold on to the memories and sit in that space of pain because filling the hole in your heart with sorrow is better than feeling the emptiness. I know what that feels like. I want to believe most people know how that feels. But just in case it’s your first time feeling it this strong, I want to affirm you today.
Affirmation 1: Sitting in sorrow is normal. It is not strange that you need a few extra days to get back to normal. It’s not unusual to feel like staying in bed a little longer or holding the pain a little tighter. There is a sense of comfort in the known and pain is something we all know. So of course it feels better to be where it hurts. It’s not unexpected. What is NOT normal is never coming out of that space. If you find yourself sitting in the sorrow for too long. How do you know what too long is? If it’s been a few months and you cannot return to some semblance of normalcy (going to work, spending time with loved ones, doing things you once enjoyed doing) then you may want to consider talking to someone about what’s going on for you.
Affirmation 2: It’s ok for your grief to be long. Some one shared this analogy with me and I use it with others often. Imagine yourself as a box and your grief is a ball inside. When the grief is fresh your ball is huge, taking up most of the space in your box and every time it touches the edges you feel it. As time goes by the ball gets smaller, but doesn’t necessarily disappear. It doesn’t hit the edges of the box as often, but when it does… you feel it. The speed at which the ball of grief shrinks is not the same for everyone and the grief still sits with you. So it’s ok for you to feel things longer than a few days or to have pangs of hurt months or years down the road. Embrace those moments and empower yourself to conquer them.
And Affirmation 3: This feeling of aloneness… is temporary. While grief may live with you forever, feeling like you’re alone doesn’t have to. It’s very easy to feel abandoned by loved ones and even God when it takes longer to move on than everyone else. That’s not the case. Your loved ones still love you, even if they processed grief quicker than you did or it seems like they didn’t experience it at all (I’ll have more on other ways to grief later on). And God definitely hasn’t left you. Lamentations is an often overlooked book but I found these words there for you today: “For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.” (Lamentations 3:31-33) Sometimes we have moments where we can’t feel God’s presence or we’re angry with Him for how His plan in playing out in our lives. But trust and believe that those feelings can be temporary as long as we reach back out for Him and constantly welcome Him into our lives and hearts. God doesn’t abandon His children, He just gives us the time and space to choose for ourselves how we’re going to respond to His lessons.
So, if you don’t take anything else from today’s words take this: while grief may not be temporary, the feelings we experience while grieving are. Sit in your sorrow and let grief take as long as it needs, lean on your loved ones and remember that God may be silent but He is never gone. I love you all. Keep conquering.
EMBRACING EMOTION: THE BLOG 