Misplaced Remorse

“You prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.” Psalms 23:6

A deep feeling of regret or guilt for a wrong committed. This is what we feel when we talk about feeling remorseful. But this feeling is not exclusive to when we commit wrongs. Sometimes we find ourself feeling extremely guilty when we’re in the midst of grief. We think about all the things we should have said, or done before the opportunity slipped through our fingers; before time wound down. And sometimes those feelings are spot on. Others? Not so much. How often have you beat yourself up because you didn’t say something or do something before a relationship, opportunity, or person moved on? Have you sat in silence lamenting over the “what ifs” just wishing you could go back in time? I think we’ve all done that at least once before. But what if I were to tell you that some of the remorse we feel over letting go is ill-founded?

What do I mean by that? I mean, what if the reason you’re being forced to let something go is to make room for something better? What if you needed to let go of that job, that relationship, that dream to make room for your true calling? Have you seen the Disney movie Soul? (Yes, I thought I’d tap into an animated film for this one lol) In this film the main character Joe leads his life chasing a spark (playing jazz) and is disappointed in his life because he never did anything with that spark. In fact, he has so much Remorse for not pursuing the spark while he’s living that he cheats death to make his dream come true. Well, after a completely Disney style adventure he learns that a Soul’s spark isn’t it’s purpose. Wow. Talk about an eye opener. He had so much Remorse for losing his opportunity to chase his spark that he missed out on what his purpose was. So how can you avoid spending so much time being Remorseful that you miss out on your purpose? Allow me to affirm you.

Affirmation 1: Greater is always beyond what you can fathom. No matter what box you put yourself in, there’s always the opportunity for greater just beyond it. Do not allow yourself to be so consumed by what you think is good that you miss out on what can truly be great.

Affirmation 2: Don’t be afraid to let go, when it’s time. Our loyalty complex is honestly just a defense mechanism against a fear of the unknown. We burn ourselves out on jobs we hate, stick through relationships we know don’t feed us, and tolerate toxicity because of who it’s from for one simple reason: we’re afraid of what life looks like without it. We fear unemployment, starting over, not having what others have or what others wish they had so we stay or we lament in remorse. Stop that today.

Affirmation 3: Your seat at the table can’t be filled by anyone else. If when you look at an opportunity and want it so badly that your feelings get hurt every time someone else gets an invitation that you want… recognize that maybe that’s not the table for you. I know, it hurts, but David wrote of God’s promise. He said “You prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.” (Psalms 23:6) If God doesn’t care that your enemies see your success, isn’t He capable of moving everyone around your seat so you can pull up your chair? Trust Him and always trust His process.

So my dear readers, I hope you can find it in you to let go of remorse when it’s misplaced. Stop beating yourself up thinking you’ve done something wrong when all you needed to do was allow yourself to be ok with letting go. Keep that close to your heart and remember: a spark isn’t a purpose. I love you, and I believe in you. Keep conquering daily!