See it Coming

Again David asked, “Will the leaders of Keilah betray me and my men to Saul?” And the Lord replied, “Yes, they will betray you.” … But now the men of Ziph went to Saul in Gibeah and betrayed David to him. “We know where David is hiding,” they said. “He is in the strongholds of Horesh on the hill of Hakilah, which is in the southern part of Jeshimon. Come down whenever you’re ready, O king, and we will catch him and hand him over to you!” 1 Samuel 23:12, 19-20

Betrayal hurts because it always comes from someone you trust/love. You can’t be betrayed by someone who doesn’t have your trust because that’s the cornerstone of the arrangement. And the blow can be especially damaging when it’s coming right for your face. Do you know that expression “a deer caught in headlights”? We use it to describe when a person is in such a state of shock that instead of fight or flight they just stand there. Sometimes we find ourselves there when dealing with betrayal because we just can’t wrap our brains around the concept that someone who Loves us could have enough Anger with us to betray… so we keep holding on and moving forward until the inevitable happens.

That’s a blow that is especially hard to handle. It’s one thing to take a knife in the back. It’s sudden, and unexpected, and you feel all your emotions at once when it happens. But when it’s coming from the front and you haven’t done anything to move out of the way of the blow, you experience those emotions slowly and sometimes one at a time, making the pain all the more unbearable. David experienced that. He went into hiding in different cities and sought help from the leaders there as he was running from Saul. Only for God to tell him they would betray him and it happen. These were people he had fought for, protected. And God’s guidance protected him and allowed him time to escape, but he never stopped going to their aid. How do you handle that? How do you handle the fact that even though people are willing to betray you, you can’t shirk your sense of loyalty to helping them when they’re in need. Let me affirm you.

Affirmation 1: Being good to others is never bad. No matter what the recipient does with your kindness, you are not wrong for showing it. They have to answer for how they treat you, not you. So be good, show kindness, love hard. And don’t be afraid to do that.

Affirmation 2: Your kindness is not weakness. Predators prey where they think they can win. So if someone comes and tries to hurt you when you’re being kind, don’t think you have to let them just because you’re a nice person. Stand up for yourself and advocate for yourself. You deserve to be your genuine self, not a hard shell always preparing for hurt.

Affirmation 3: Don’t be afraid to move. When you see the blow coming, don’t be afraid to step out of harm’s way and protect yourself. Once you’ve gotten over the initial shock of it coming, take the necessary steps to guard your heart. That doesn’t mean you have to be mean or hateful to them, but recognize that something in them no longer works with something in you and move.

All in all, I hope you guard your heart and understand that you never deserve to be betrayed, to your face or behind your back. The mental and emotional toll it takes on a person can be hard, so take the time to talk to someone about those feelings instead of becoming bitter and vengeful. I love you, and as always I’m rooting for you. Keep conquering daily!