The Other Foot

“Then David sent word to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” So Joab sent him to David. When Uriah arrived, David asked him how Joab and the army were getting along and how the war was progressing. Then he told Uriah, “Go on home and relax.” David even sent a gift to Uriah after he had left the palace. But Uriah didn’t go home. He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard. When David heard that Uriah had not gone home, he summoned him and asked, “What’s the matter? Why didn’t you go home last night after being away for so long?” Uriah replied, “The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents, and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.” “Well, stay here today,” David told him, “and tomorrow you may return to the army.” So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next. Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk. But even then he couldn’t get Uriah to go home to his wife. Again he slept at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard. So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver. The letter instructed Joab, “Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.” So Joab assigned Uriah to a spot close to the city wall where he knew the enemy’s strongest men were fighting. And when the enemy soldiers came out of the city to fight, Uriah the Hittite was killed along with several other Israelite soldiers.” 2 Samuel 11:6-17

We’ve spent quite a few weeks focusing on how to handle when someone betrays us. How to process those feelings of Love and Anger when it’s being directed at us. But what about when the shoe is on the other foot? What about when we betray someone who trusts us? I know, it’s not something we want to think about. Because why would we be out here betraying people? Why would we hurt someone this way? That answer is simple. We’re human. We are human and humans are selfish creatures by default. We feel better when we have what we want and sometimes that means at the expense of someone else.

David is a good example of this. These past few weeks we’ve seen example after example of someone betraying David. And each week it was someone new! His entire life, people were willing to put their needs and fears and desires above their relationship with him and they did some unspeakable acts. But even in the midst of all of this, we find the time David betrayed someone. Uriah, husband of Bathsheba. David had relations with Bathsheba while Uriah was off fighting in a war for David and she got pregnant. He tried to arrange for Uriah to be considered a possible father but he had too much honor and respect for the soldiers he’d left on the battlefield. Rather than deal with the consequences of his actions, David placed Uriah in a dangerous position and as a result… he was killed in battle.

Now I’m sure any act of betraying you have committed against another is not nearly as severe as David’s (then again, maybe it is. Only you know that). But no matter how great or small, it’s still a tough place to be in. Maybe you feel you had no other choice. Maybe it was a you or them scenario and you chose self preservation. Maybe you just finally needed to choose yourself for once. No matter the reason, Betrayal hurts and can leave you feeling guilty. So let me affirm you as you move forward to the next time you’re possibly faced with this situation.

Affirmation 1: You are human, and humans make mistakes. If you hurt someone through betrayal, own your errors and forgive yourself. In the same token, remember this when someone else betrays you and consider they may need your forgiveness as well.

Affirmation 2: Absolution is available to you. You can be absolved of anything that you do that hurts others. But you must be willing to admit guilt, accept fault, and adjust to the consequences of your actions. Betraying someone may mean losing them in your life, and you have to live with that. Do not make it the other person’s responsibility to openly deal with the hurt you caused them by shoving your presence in their face.

Affirmation 3: No matter what, you are worthy of love. Everyone deserves to be loved, no matter what they have done. If you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done and the pain you’ve caused, love will return to you, and so will forgiveness.

The most important thing I want you to take from this is that the same human errors that were made against you, you are capable of making them yourself, if the circumstances were switch. So find forgiveness in your heart and it will be returned to you. Forgiveness is so essential to good mental health, because the space in your mind that you’re taking up with unforgiveness is more than likely causing you stress, anxiety, depression or any other host of symptoms. Be kind to yourself today and find forgiveness; for yourself and others. I love you, and I’m rooting for you. Keep conquering daily!