I AM WANTED

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

I don’t have to feel alone in this world.

Everyone has fears. Those things that if we spend too much time thinking about them they will potentially keep us up at night. Will constantly have us making preparations and choices to prevent those things from happening. Most of us don’t live in constant fear of anything but we avoid the things that in the back of our mind scare us to death. I have fears, and then I have amplified anxieties… those things that shouldn’t cause me fear because they aren’t plausible but my mind and body don’t always agree on that. But the one thing that plagues me the most, the one that I conquer daily, if my fear of being alone. And I’m not talking about loneliness or never wanting to be by myself (trust me, my me time is crucial) but a fear of being alone in the world. That if I die in my home (where I live alone) that people won’t come check for days.

Now I don’t want to turn this into a full scale reveal all. I’m honestly not ready for that, and I’m working through it with a therapist of my own. But have you ever felt alone like that? Maybe not long term, but perhaps for a moment. Perhaps for just a moment you felt like there was no one who understood, no where to turn to, no way out. Did you know that feeling alone like that can reflect how you feel about how others feel about you? When you feel alone in the world, sometimes its because you don’t feel wanted.

Not feel wanted. What does that mean? And where does that come from? I won’t lie, it comes from a dark place and I don’t wish that feeling on anyone. And it’s not something that is easy to explain. But one of the places we see this the most is with people who are suicidal. Sometimes suicidal people feel so much fear about not being needed or wanted, that it translates into feeling the world would be better without them. I hope that is not you, but if it IS you, know that you ARE wanted and loved, and I hope that these affirmations can bring you forward from that dark place into the light.

Affirmation 1: Your light is unique and special. Each person brings a different light to this world unlike any other. And it takes all of our lights to illuminate the good things in life. Without your light, the world is a little darker. So I pray you find a way to shine.

Affirmation 2: You’re not the only one. I know for years I thought I was the only person with my fear until I discovered that I wasn’t. I want you to know that you also aren’t the only one or the first one to feel how you feel. There’s always someone out there who can related to you. Seek out support groups if you want to commune with people who won’t judge you or your circumstance. Be honest with your friends, you’d be surprised by how supportive they can be if you give them the chance to truly see you. And seek out professional support if the thoughts and feels are becoming a burden on your life and you want someone who is unbiased and well trained to help guide your journey.

Affirmation 3: You’re never truly alone. I fully believe that God designed each and every one of us and chose the here and now for our purpose in life. Isaiah reminded Jacob saying “But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1) So when you have those moments where you think there’s no where to turn to and you’re afraid of what that means, it means turn to God because HE wants you and has always wanted you.

My faithful readers, don’t fear unwantedness. That is an illusion and trick that your mind (and sometimes manipulative people) are playing on you and you don’t have to accept that as your truth. You are wanted, you are loved and you are needed. Especially by me. I love you, and I’m always rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.