I AM SINCERE

“Love must be sincere.” Romans 12:9

I can be vulnerable to access the truest form of Love.

This has been an interesting week regarding love for me, and the expression of love. I’ve entertained new ideas for love, opened myself up (intentionally) for new expressions of love, had conversations about what love looks like and should be like, and come face to face with old love and what it means to let it occupy my space. None of these actions were easy. Love, with all its complexities paired with the complexities of people themselves makes it one of the hardest emotions to deal with. I know that can be confusing, with Love also being the emotion that makes us feel the best. The biggest complexity with love is that it requires the most vulnerability to be sincere.

As a therapist, I work with couples, and it’s work I thoroughly enjoy but wasn’t always sure I’d be very good at. When you’ve had as many “failures” at Love as I have you start to feel a little imposter syndrome sometimes. But I make sure to put myself aside and give my couples the best of me and save my drama for my close friends and own therapy sessions. And one of those bests is lessons in vulnerability. Being vulnerable is hard, and scary. It requires you to take down your guards and walls and give another person access to the ability to hurt you. And when you’ve been hurt before, you don’t want to do that. Nobody wants to do that. But in order to access true, sincere Love it is necessary. So let’s get to these affirmations so that you can get to the sincerest and truest part of love.

Affirmation 1: Being vulnerable isn’t easy, and that’s ok. Giving someone access to hurt you is not by any means an easy thing to do. Especially when you’ve been hurt before. In fact, every instinct in your mind and body says to close it all up and build a brick wall around your heart. Those feelings are normal and expected. So don’t think you’re weird or different because you’re not leaping at the idea of opening up. But keep in mind that staying closed means that you can’t fully let love in… or out.

Affirmation 2: Sincere love is accessible. I know we fear love because our lack of experience with it makes it feel impossible to find. But God’s love is, ultimately, the greatest showing and example of sincere love that we have. No matter how much we use and abuse our relationship with Him, He remains accessible to us and He created us to be like Him and to enjoy what He’s given to us… Love included. So take a deep breath and make a little more room to be a little more sincere and let it be returned to you.

Affirmation 3: You don’t have to settle for Love that doesn’t meet your needs. Here’s the best part. If during your journey with Love you find that someone’s expression isn’t sincere or you just can’t make yourself be sincere with them, you can walk away. You don’t have to choose to remain in any kind of relationship that isn’t satisfying. Of course, my hope is that you will do the work necessary to fight for love when you truly want it, but if after that fight it still doesn’t feel right, be ok with letting it go.

My friends, know that the love I have for you is so sincere, and that you mean so much to me. Know that you are worthy, and deserving, and valuable and those traits can’t be traded. Keep fighting for love, and fighting to be sincere in your relationships no matter how hard it is. It is most rewarding in the long run. I love you, and as always, I’m rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.