“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven… A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3: 1&4
I am flowing through my emotions and giving them all time to be felt.
Grief is the emotion that we truly cannot control. Not that any of our emotions do what we tell them to all the time, but Grief does something special. It creeps in when you least expect it, and it’s never convenient. Sometimes we know when to expect it. When the loss is fresh we know we’ll be down and out for a while. We know there will be tears, and anger, and deep sadness. We figure out how to prepare for it each day in the beginning. We even “know” how to deal when anniversaries and familiar places and things come into view. But what about those moments we don’t expect. Those random tugs at our heart strings and our memories when we smell something unexpectedly? Or hear something that they used to say? What happens then when that pang of emotion rushes through your body and you don’t know what to do with it? I want to affirm you in your grief today, specifically for those who are having those reminder grief moments. And I’ll do it with my own personal experiences this time, in honor of the loved ones I still grieve for.
Affirmation #1: Grief is normal… even though it doesn’t keep normal hours. I’m crying now as I write this just calling forth the memories of some of my favorite lost ones. And that’s the last thing I expected as I sat down to pour into you, readers. But that’s the way it goes sometimes. Crying for them, missing them, wishing they were here are all normal responses to grief. So don’t think something is wrong with you if you have a moment a month, a year, even a decade later. Just try to remember the happy times and to memorialize them in positive ways.
Affirmation #2: Pain is pain, no matter how old. And that’s Okay. It is ok to feel and to feel just as deeply today as if it were happening all over again. It’s not an exact science, but it is manageable. Your grief moments don’t have to be any longer than you need them to be (notice I said need and not want. Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that we need something to end when that’s not what the body or heart needs at all). The scripture tells us “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven… A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1&4) What it doesn’t tell us is how long or often those seasons are.
Affirmation #3: Let the feelings flow, don’t be a dam. If you try to stop a raging river from keeping it’s natural flow you can damage the surrounding nature. The same is true for our emotions. If we try to keep ourselves from having those seasons of emotions we can end up hurting ourselves mentally and physically. Allow yourself to be fluid with feelings and give them space to move about. If you give them time to be felt they will flow on.
I love you guys. You’ve really helped me get through some rough periods of grief this year. And sometimes it’s still hard (I’ll probably shed a few more tears as I drift off to sleep tonight) but because I’ve learned to be fluid, I get by. I hope the same for you on your journey with emotions. I’m rooting for you, always. Keep conquering daily!
EMBRACING EMOTION: THE BLOG 