I AM CHANGED

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

Grief and Loss can change me and my normal.

When you lose someone or something that is a large part of your existence, it can be really hard to pick up the pieces and get back to “normal”. Normal. What is that? What does it mean? Some synonyms: usual, typical, standard, customary, ordinary. But how can you be “normal” when life is no longer normal? If you lost a person that you speak to almost regularly, how can it be normal not to do that any more? If you’ve been a full time parent and now you’re an empty nester, how is it normal not to have a house full of people everyday? If you were used to going to that job everyday and now you don’t, what’s normal about that missing element to your day? Nothing. And that hurts.

While dealing with the pain of the loss the biggest part isn’t that the thing is gone… it’s that you’re trying to be ok with that missing element. And too often we tell ourselves we have to be normal about something that affects us so much and well, that’s just not true. The only thing normal about loss is that nothing will be the same normal again. And that’s ok. So, to help you with your journey to a new normal, I offer you these affirmations and all my love and support.

Affirmation 1: You’re not the same you anymore… and that’s ok. When true change comes, it’s impossible to completely revert back to an old way, and there’s nothing strange or abnormal about that. Once you get to a place of acceptance about that it will make accepting a new you more tangible and feel less like a betrayal.

Affirmation 2: Normalize change. Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, said the only thing constant is change and he was right. The world and all the people in it are constantly growing and changing, growing and changing, and if we stop fighting that reality by trying to make things stay the same all the time we will be in a better position to handle our losses.

Affirmation 3: Your change is a part of a grander design. Everything happens for a reason, whether you know the reason or not. And if you put your trust in God, He will keep you through that change no matter how low it makes you feel. He told the people “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19) Grief often feels like a wilderness and a dry wasteland where happiness and love can reside no longer, but He’s telling you that He’s about to do something new for you and has already begun. Just trust the process.

Loss is hard. Grief is often harder. But we deserve a life of quality and that means finding a way to make it through the ebs and lows. Be kind to yourself on that journey and know that you don’t have to do it alone. Friends, family and mental health professionals are great resources for dealing with your pain… don’t shy away from them. I love you, and I’m always rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.