I AM PASSIONATE

“… You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19

Being in control of my emotions keeps them from being misconstrued.

I have found there is nothing more frustrating than being mislabeled. Having your race, your health, your intelligence or your intentions called something other than what it truthfully is can make for uncomfortable situations and rises in emotions. This happens most often when I’m expressing passion. I can often be larger than life. How about you? I know I’m not alone in this. And when I’m larger than life my passion can be larger than life as well. Sometimes that works out in my favor. It excites people, gets them motivated, and they join me on my quest for success. But then there are the times when my passion looks like anger. Have you ever had a passionate discussion with someone and you both are expressing loudly and forcefully to the point that someone walking by might mistake it for an argument, until they listen a little longer and discover you’re actually in complete agreement with the person you’re talking with? Yeah, that happens to me all the time. And most often it ends up being ok because everyone is being equally heard and understood. But what about when that doesn’t happen. I find my frustration elevates to it’s highest point when someone insists on labeling my emotions for me. When someone decides how I feel about something without my consent I find it irritating. And if it’s not handled correctly irritation leads to frustration, and frustration to anger. And that is where we don’t want to be.

The Angry Black Woman. She’s too emotional to handle the situation and therefore is dismissed. Maybe not from the room but definitely from the conversation in that now she is disregarded as irrational, uncontrollable, and out of her lane. And she’s not even Angry… yet. Being in control in those moments is hard. Because how do you get someone to respect your level of emotional intelligence when they are so quick to mislabel your feelings? Let me affirm you into some best practices with that, sisters. And brothers, if you’re dealing with emotion regulation and anger management these affirmations can work for you too!

Affirmation 1: I need to breathe. Deep breathing (and reminding yourself to breathe) does a couple of things. First, it stops you from talking. Sometime we respond before adequately assessing the situation and that has it’s own set of problems. Second, breathing helps regulate your heart rate. When emotions are high so is your blood pressure and that can cause the body to panic. When the body is calm, the words can be calm as well. So just breathe, and take back control of the narrative.

Affirmation 2: A misread only needs a resend. If someone misreads your emotion, take a deep breath, and try to convey your message again. Remember that the other person’s emotions are high as well, not just yours and misreading the situation is easier to do when you’re thinking emotionally and not rationally. So help them help you be better understood.

Affirmation 3: Nobody’s labels matter more than your own. People are going to think what they want to think, you can only do so much. But if you allow what they think to define you, it will be easier for you to be misconstrued. Take back your power, listen more and speak less. Let your actions speak louder than the words that are being misunderstood.

Friends, I hope you can find better understanding from others in your passionate moments today. And when that isn’t happening like it should, it’s ok. Just remember your end goal and to always be true to yourself and your passions. I love you, and I’m always rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.