I AM CONFIDENCE

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

What I remove from my life can no longer hurt me.

Hey my readers. I left you for a time. Life got a little hard. The last time life was this hard I pushed and powered through, for me and and for you. Because I believed you deserved the best that I could give in those moments, and to see me in my transparent pain. I wanted you to know that I would always be my whole, true, authentic self with you and for you. But this time I had to do some private, silent reflection and remove some things from my life that didn’t honor me or the God I serve. It was hard, and scary… but I will share with you now so you can understand and make some positive moves past hurt for yourself.

Hurt. When something hurts you, what do you do about it? Not the pain itself but the thing that caused you pain. Depending on the circumstances, maybe it’s easy to get rid of it, or to move it to a new location. Maybe it’s broken and that’s how it Hurt you so you either repair it or replace it. Maybe you do that with people, too. Maybe when people hurt you, you remove them from your life. But sometimes with people, it’s not always so cut and dry. Sometimes you have people who aren’t intentionally hurting you. They are lashing out because they are hurting themselves and need some grace, forgiveness, and help. Sometimes you have people who don’t realize the damage they are causing and once informed do what is necessary to correct that error. But then sometimes you have some people who cannot see beyond themselves enough to recognize the pain they cause and only care about what is happening to and for them. And sometimes you have to let people go.

All three of these types have the potential to damage and greatly. And it’s important that you know that just because someone doesn’t mean to hurt you, doesn’t mean you’re required to stay while they correct themselves. Loving from a distance is a thing and it’s okay to make that choice, even when it doesn’t feel comfortable. And now that we’ve recognized the types of hurt that can be caused and the type of people who can cause it, let’s talk about you… and why you haven’t made a new choice. Why are you allowing the hurt to continue? Maybe it’s complicated… but it probably boils down to something very simple… fear. Are you enduring because you’re afraid of what the other side will look like? Are you allowing someone or something to beat you down (figuratively or emotionally. If someone is being physically violent with you PLEASE seek help and remove yourself from that danger) because you don’t know what’s going to happen if you say stop and “it’s not that bad, I can handle it”? Are you so afraid to believe in yourself and your worth that you allow yourself to wallow in discomfort and hurt? Are you denying yourself freedom? I want more for you, better for you. So let’s affirm and move past this particular place of hurt.

Affirmation 1: You deserve… I want you to insert whatever word needs to go there to remind yourself of your worth. You have done nothing to earn pain because that’s not how pain works. It is a warning, a response to danger, it is not a punishment or reward. So know that you deserve whatever it is you’re seeking and walk in that truth.

Affirmation 2: Pain is not endurance. We endure many things in life to get to a better place. We endure unfair circumstances, long study hours, jobs that we don’t love, disrespect and many other things so that God can elevate us to the next assignment. Long term pain is not what He wishes for us. I am not encouraging you to run from places or situations that cause a momentary hurt. Or to walk away from the big picture when you are confident in how you’re passing the test. I am talking about those things that mean you no good and you know they mean you no good, and you sit and accept pain for no other reason than you don’t know what else to do. Enduring that doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build you up and teach you a lesson. That is an example of ignoring the warning signs that it’s time to move on. We don’t want to do that.

Affirmation 3: You are not alone. God promises to help us with every hard thing and reward us with every good thing. He promises us the strength and confidence to make the difficult choices about our lives and to walk by our sides every step of the way. Allow Him to do that, and accept the assist. Counselors, pastors, therapists, good friends… let them help you when you feel you cannot go on. Even when you feel like you can and you need just 1 or 2 things removed from your plate. Let the help ease the hurt, and promote you to your next platform.

Confidence doesn’t take the hurt away, it just makes the walk away possible.

I love you all, and I’ve missed you. I’ll try not to stay away so long again. I encourage you to find and walk in the confidence to leave hurt behind and accept a new phase. It won’t be easy, it won’t be known, and it will require so much faith. But I believe in you, and I’m always rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.