“And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” Matthew 12: 36-37
I can only control myself and am responsible for my reactions to my emotions.
Accountability. Being required or expected to justify actions or decisions; responsible. We all know what it is and how uncomfortable it is when it could mean unfavorable consequences. And that usually happens when we’re unsure. But what are we unsure of? You know what you did, you know what you said, you know what you meant, you know what you were trying to accomplish… so where’s the problem? Perception. For all your awareness of what was going on for you, you can’t always know what’s going on for the other person(s). And try as you might to do it right… it just doesn’t happen that way every time. So how do you deal with that? How do you face accountability?
There’s no one right way to do it, but even in our version of the “right way” we have to consider again the other person. And the main thing you have to consider is emotions. Start with your own, because that’s what you can control. Think about what kind of energy you put out there. Think about what you said and did to start, and then what you said and did to respond. Can you truly justify it to yourself? Was it really ok to lash out like you did? Do you owe an explanation or an apology? How will you be Accountable? Now consider them. Do you know how you made them feel, or only how they made you feel? How do they receive feedback? How well do they know you, or think they know you? And the one I think may be most important, does the solution you’re seeking work best for you, best for them, or best for all?
The scriptures say “And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” (Matthew 12: 36-37) but before judgement day we get practice days with the people we love and owe explanations to. Not because it will put the nail in the coffin of your fate, but because God knows we all fall short and deserve the opportunity to seek and enjoy forgiveness before it’s too late. So let’s affirm into Accountability, to hopefully ease your next uncomfortable conversation and help you keep the relationships you cherrish.
Affirmation 1: I am embracing accountability. Go ahead and start embracing that you have to own your part. It doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t always feel fair, but you can’t walk through this life thinking everyone else owes you something and you have no role to play. And in embracing accountability understand that it means saying more than you may want to. An apology doesn’t always cut it.
Affirmation 2: It won’t be comfortable but it’s necessary. Let’s just get into it. Accountability sucks because of what it requires. Justification. And justification requires hearing all the sides and saying all the words. If you’re already uncomfortable in that space this is the last thing you want to hear but it’s the truth. Relationships require communication and good relationships require more communication.
What I want you to take away from this the most, is that for all the fears you have of accountability, it can be so freeing. It gives you the space to understand more and to be better understood. It let’s you show that you’re not above taking responsibility for your actions and that you’re willing to grow. But most of all it stops the guessing games and removes the unknown, which is undeniably causing you anxiety. It’s stressing you out and making you unsure of yourself and we don’t want that for you. And as you become more comfortable in the space of holding yourself accountable, maybe it will make it a little easier for you to do the same thing for others. Remember, conflict is normal… just a difference in perspective. You can get through it. I love you, and I’m always rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.
EMBRACING EMOTION: THE BLOG 