I AM EMBRACING FELLOWSHIP

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9

I have made solid bonds with those I hold close and there is no minimum or limit on who that should be.

Milestones make you reflect. At least they make me reflect. As I approach a major milestone I think about the things I’ve learned, the experiences I’ve had and the thing I always spend the most time and energy thinking about is who was and wasn’t there. Fellowship… and I chose the word fellowship over friendship because friendship doesn’t quite cover it for me. You see, everyone isn’t counted as a friend in my world, and I hope not in yours as well. It’s important to be kind and friendly, but giving too many people access to you without true stipulations on why they should be able to can be damaging in the long run. But I have family, friends, Sorors, comrades, mentors, clients, etc. And I fellowship with all of these classifications of people, but at different appropriateness levels.

How do you define your appropriateness levels? Is there a time limit requirement? A connection requirement? Maybe it’s based on shared experiences or like-mindedness, maybe it’s blood bond or trauma bond. Whatever list you create to determine how people get close to you, I hope you are open, yet guarded. And that’s where Fellowship can play a big role. Fellowship allows you to engage at your comfort level without making commitments you can’t (or shouldn’t) commit to. I recently met someone who was born in the same city and state as me… instant bond, because neither of us had ever met anyone else who was. Our fellowship deepened the more we spoke as we discovered a wild 2-3 degree of separation that connected our fathers over 35 years ago. We won’t become best friends because of this, but we both had an unforgettable experience because of it.

But when our mental feels unprotected and vulnerable, fellowship can be difficult. We shut down and shut out based on negative experiences and the ill intentions of others… or our catastrophic thoughts about what we expect vs what we desire. How do we keep our mental from making things worse for us by shutting too much out, or from letting too much in? Let’s affirm.

Affirmation 1: I am embracing fellowship. Being open to making connections, big and small, is the best place to start. Remind yourself that opening your life to the ability to connect does not mean you are required to build or sustain relationships that don’t serve you. You’re just making connection possible. Embrace fellowship to make connection possible.

Affirmation 2: I don’t have to grow what does not sustain me. Every co-worker won’t become an out of workplace friend. Every friendship won’t last forever. Use your fellowship to engage in meaningful communication and connection to figure out what does and does not work. There is only one thing that’s pretty certain… if you run away from fellowship, there will be either no or negative connection in the end.

Affirmation 3: Good fellowship can lead to lifelong bonds. When you find those that you truly connect to, those who bring so much joy to your life, the bonds that form there are beautiful and sweet. You can count on them to be genuine and kind and true. It’s what God wants for and has designed for you. And that’s what makes life worth living… having those you can share it with.

My friends, embrace fellowship today and enhance your quality of life. Make good choices about who you keep and what you keep to yourself, but don’t let an anxious mind trick you into unnecessary solitude. Love hard, and enjoy the memories you get to me. I believe in you, and as always, I’m rooting for you. Keep conquering daily!