I Have a Purpose

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6

It was the fall of the year, I was in my early twenties and I was visiting a friend out of town. During the night we did what many young women do, we shared our experiences and struggles and were just catching each other up on what we may or may not have been missing from each other’s lives. She shared with me relationship frustrations, and I did what felt natural: I listened, gave feedback, encouraged her, and shared from my own experiences to let her know she wasn’t the first nor would she be the last to go through what she went through. I was being a good friend.

She thanked me, immensely, and said I should write a book. I laughed her off, knowing I was far from a relationship expert, that I was single, no where near marriage, and who would listen to me? What did I really know? So I went back to just being a good friend. Many times we tell ourselves that this is being a realist. Acknowledging our skill set and level of expertise and not doing more than we should. The reality of what I was doing in that moment, though wasn’t that. I was just being afraid. Deep down my friend had touched on something I was actually passionate about and she had no idea. And for all the lack of credentials and “knowledge” I was convincing myself I needed, the most important thing that I needed was confidence.

We all know something and have been told about being confident, but what does it mean? What is the true definition of confidence? According to the dictionary, confidence is being able to rely on someone or something, knowing that something is true, or knowing you are capable of doing something. Confidence is that emotion that overpowers fear, doubt, and nervousness. It walks hand in hand with joy, peace, and sometimes anger when someone challenges us and we know we’re right. In a nutshell, confidence is trust. And trust is something we all want to have, experience, and feel. But what happens when you don’t? What happens when your confidence in yourself just isn’t there? What happens when you doubt your Purpose?

Purpose is hard. How are we supposed to just know what we’re supposed to be doing in the world? How do we figure out what we’re supposed to do that makes the difference? How can we do something we “know” nothing about? How? With Confidence. Confidence is not a simple emotion. It has layers. Like the definition shows us, confidence involves trusting yourself, the truth, and others. Confidence is not all on you. And when we forget that, that is when Purpose becomes hard. Because we put so much energy into focusing on what we do and don’t have, can and can’t do, are and are not, that we challenge what could and often times SHOULD be. Instead of being Confident in our Purpose, we let fear and nervousness be the chief emotions running the show. And this is when we miss out.

I missed out for years. I told myself that if I was serious about helping people with their relationships and wanted to be taken seriously, then I would need to do the one thing that mattered the most: get married. Because married people are relationship experts! And the one thing people like to throw at you when you challenge something they could be doing wrong is say “When you get married, you’ll understand.” I wasn’t trying to hear that. So I was determined to get married first, and then I could pursue a future in relationship counseling. God said not so. And I’ll tell you I knew it was God because only He could stop what I was determined to make happen, and when I’m determined I’m a bit of a force. When I finally got tired of being lost in a job I hated, with my relationship not moving past Go on the Monopoly board, I decided to once again revisit my Purpose. I had to stop letting my purpose be derailed by fear. I decided that fear aside, if something was meant to be, God was going to have to see me through it. Confidence was not all on me.

The bible speaks to purpose. Most often those passages are related to the purpose of spreading the gospel, and while that is the ultimate purpose, we do not have to throw God’s word away when speaking to other areas of our lives. Paul knew about purpose, having his Damascus road experience and being brought very boldly into his calling. As a result he taught many people about how to carry out the will of God and he spoke about confidence with them. When writing to the Philippians he said “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” (Philippians 1:6)

When Paul wrote this he was encouraging them to continue the good work that God had placed before them to spread the gospel and bring people to Christ. He wanted them to know he was proud of them and that they need not worry about being able to complete the task because if God began the work in them, He would help them perform it until Christ returned. That doesn’t stop being true when we talk about the other things we are called to do. God gives us many talents to shine through. Some are teachers, doctors, lawyers, artists, writers, storytellers, therapists, you name it. We all have great Purposes that we are supposed to be exercising in and God says He’s got our backs. If He put it in us to do, then He’s going to be with us the entire time we’re doing it! That’s something I’m glad I can be confident in.

What about you? What can you be confident in? I will leave you with this: Embracing the emotion of Confidence means letting it work with other emotions that make it stronger. Let Confidence walk hand in hand with Happiness, because you’re doing what you should, Excitement, because it will drive you to be your best, but also Nervousness, because it will keep you from making simple mistakes. The path of Purpose won’t always be easy or fun, there are trials along any path we choose, but don’t let your purpose be untouched because you don’t want to let Confidence take control of the emotion switchboard. Confidence is trust, Confidence is faith, and Confidence is always ready to be in your corner.