I AM VULNERABLE

“He told them, “my soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Matthew 26:38

My Vulnerability is my greatest strength.

When we are hurting, the hardest thing to be is vulnerable. Why is that? You would think it would be easier to be open and seeking support when we’re at our lowest, but being human is quite the opposite. In fact, when we are in those low points we tend to shift into the part of survival mode that says we don’t need anyone else. We put on brave fronts and suck up our feelings and hide them. Why? Because we often associate vulnerability with weakness. When we give people access to us when we are low they now have a power over us that they can now use against us, and if we look back over our lives isn’t that what usually happens? Isn’t that what people do? Kick us while we’re down? Use our flaws as a stepping stone to their success? Don’t they come to conclusions about us that we need to correct? Instead of giving them the opportunity to see us sweat, we just suck it up and put on the bravest front we possibly can. And that is where we suffer.

When we hide our Vulnerability, we cheat ourselves out of support, acts of kindness, and often love. We don’t give people the opportunity to show us they are better than we have imagined them to be. But we also cheat ourselves out of normal responses to normal (and God forbid, abnormal) circumstances. When people think you always have it all together, they don’t learn how to treat you when you don’t. They place you on pedestals created in fallacies and respond poorly to your moments of weakness. So how do we challenge that? How do we start making a difference in the way we present ourselves and how do we start taking those walls down? Let me affirm you into some better places with your vulnerability.

Affirmation #1: Vulnerability is not weakness. The first thing you have to do is reframe your thinking about what being vulnerable means and that is best done by tackling it at it’s largest falsehood. Being vulnerable does NOT make you weak. It is the greatest strength you can show by giving someone else access to the ability to hurt you. And be careful not to think of it as welcoming hurt because no one has the right to hurt you. Think of it more as placing trust in people you should be able to trust.

Affirmation #2: Being strong all the time is unrealistic. I want you to think about a rubber band. Think about when it’s stretched to capacity to hold something together. It’s holding up well and doing it’s job. Now think about that same rubber band months or even years after holding something together. When you remove it, it is now stretched out. It cannot return to it’s original state because its been pulled to its limits for so long. And if you were to pull it a little or try to make it hold something even bigger than before, it’s most likely going to snap. Thankfully, we have a better resilience than a rubber band, but not by much. If you keep pulling on yourself, you’re going to snap. So take a break from strength and allow someone else a turn.

Affirmation #3: Being vulnerable just means being honest. It is okay to say when you’re not okay. To open up and not only ask for, but receive help. This isn’t easy by any lengths. I know how especially hard it is for me. But I also know the sense of relief I feel when I am able to say “I’m not okay” or “I need help” and my people hear that. It’s even surprised me to know that sometimes they’re just watching and waiting because they need me to be a willing party in the acceptance of help. Because it’s not fair for me to lash out or to hurt them because I’m not ready. Let that sit with you for a minute.

I hope that you can come to a place where vulnerability is no longer your great weakness, but your great strength. That you will embrace the hands and arms ready to assist you and know they mean you good, not bad. And I especially hope for your journey that you learn as much as you can from hurt and don’t let it keep you from experiencing the life you deserve. Don’t give up on you, because I promise I never will. I love you, and I’m always rooting for you. Keep conquering daily.